for christmas this year i received an envelope with cash and a cartoon of myself with a sleeve of tattoos. something odd happened inside me when i opened it, a sort-of gleeful/fearful feeling, an “oh fun… uh-oh!” response. that’s because i love tattoos… but up to that moment i guess i only really loved the idea of tattoos. darn it, now that the opportunity stared me in the face i had to quickly think it through and moderate what emotion to expose to my husband who was anxiously awaiting my reaction. he knew it would be a loaded gift, but he was right to risk it… the excited side of me eventually won out.
so, feb 9 is the day! this unmarked skin of mine will bear an image of my choosing. although i have always reasoned with myself that there would never be a design i would want to bear for a lifetime, i decided right away that i could get something that represented my girls. no possible regrets there… right?
ok, ok portraits aren’t the way to go… but what should the image be? darn it! such a huge decision! when i start thinking too deeply about it, it scares the perfectionist in me to death! oooh, that perfectionist side of myself ruins everything! or not…
yes, there is a LOT of evidence out there of unfortunate tattoos (take a look at “ugliest tattoos” for a giggle), but there are also few that are quite beautiful and meaningful… i definitely prefer to be on that side of things.
but i have to ask myself… why? why am i considering doing this to myself? i am terrified that i will regret the final product, and given my critical side i will likely analyse the thing until it warps into something horrible. it’s true! i do that to myself! i’m a terrible candidate for a tattoo, right? BUT, i want to challenge it – i want to get a tattoo in spite of the perfectionist, as a part of my journey to overcome/accept those parts of myself. plus *some* tattoos are cool, darn it! 🙂
so! the tattoo i’ve decided on may be a tad overloaded with meaning… when i look at it, i want to be reminded of freedom, of releasing control, and of my two beautiful girls – the style of the image will represent my character as a maker and my connection to the creative community and to the creator. ya, that’s loaded…
i’m leaving a cliff hanger here… but will post pics of the process on feb 9, the fateful day. say a prayer for me ok? once the virgin skin is broken, i’m sure i’ll get all de-sensitized and decide on a portrait of my cat next!
do you have a tattoo? why did you get it? what would you get if you don’t have one already?