so it has been a week now with my feathers and, quite frankly, it has been a tumultuous beginning.  my first night was a high, i was proud of them and felt, well, cool – i had just a teensy bit of a strut when i exited the tattoo studio : )

the next day tripped me up when the first few people i revealed it to had nothing but negative things to say.  while i understand that people have strong opinions about tattoos, i was shocked that they didn’t have the tact to keep it to themselves.  at first i thought that their disapproving bafflement was amusing, but then as others joined in and it escalated to scolding & disgust, i wilted.  i wish i could say that i got indignant or even angry (although that did come later), but i was honestly still too sensitive about my new piece of art to withstand the beating… so i slowly covered it up and didn’t show anyone else that day.  so sad!  you know when you say a word over and over again is starts to sound weird and loses meaning?  i did that to my tattoo.  i stared at it until i couldn’t see what it looked like anymore – it became shrouded in those negative remarks, blocking out the beauty and meaning.  i panicked.  tattoos are permanent!  did i make a mistake?!  was i being stupid?! am i a terrible mother?! (yes that was the content of the unwanted remarks) what will my grandma think?!  i really hadn’t prepared myself for such a backlash…  once i received the gift of tattoo money for christmas and settled on a image, i immersed myself in the world of tattoos until it was normalized and happily skipped down the path to my appointment without really looking back.  that night i had a little cry with my husband and absorbed his perspective until i regained confidence in my decision.

it sucks that my first day was so tainted!  but no matter where i am on the emotional spectrum, i am bonded with my feathers…  even at the low point when i frantically considered removing them, it felt like i was considering getting plastic surgery because someone said my nose was big or something equally inappropriate.  i’m an adult, darn it! and i made a decision that some might not agree with or like, but i didn’t do for them, i did it to express myself and to try something new and because i wanted to.  and i like it, so there.  ; )

i wonder, does a prominent tattoo place a person in a new category where others can brush aside common social graces and let their unwanted opinions fly?  was this an anomaly or have you experienced anything like it?

~ rena